COMMENT ⊗   VALID 00050 PAGES
C REC  PAGE   DESCRIPTION
C00001 00001
C00006 00002	Sun    	---	Aquarius
C00007 00003	Desert poem.
C00009 00004	This time for good no more.
C00011 00005	Tonight she called and said
C00013 00006	Sometimes --
C00014 00007	If you get yourself in trouble,
C00015 00008	Shame on me
C00016 00009	Sand dollar lady
C00017 00010	GREAT!
C00018 00011	Write down my sorrow
C00019 00012	Bird songs
C00020 00013	as ever remote, no love lost
C00021 00014	yummy tummy
C00022 00015	(1)  Pardon me miss, may I hump you?
C00023 00016	What can I do with you
C00024 00017	Raspy skinny bitch-- broken.
C00025 00018	Confusion --
C00026 00019	Bright ecstatic moments, 
C00027 00020	Methodical me, my creativity.
C00028 00021	waiting for little chickie,
C00029 00022	comfort-
C00030 00023	Here and now, like the great here and after,
C00031 00024	Fragmented words. Sequence of nouns, no verbs.
C00032 00025	Where are my almonds!! Goddam stewardess didn't bring me
C00033 00026	I don't.
C00034 00027	Grief and sadness
C00035 00028	Time for toads
C00036 00029	Methylene terpredation
C00037 00030	Freedom.
C00038 00031	Re.
C00039 00032	  When the train leaves
C00040 00033	ASS!
C00041 00034	I have learned that
C00042 00035	Two o'clock. Train at 452.
C00043 00036	Peter: It makes
C00044 00037	I
C00045 00038	Poverty.  Here is a robustness
C00049 00039	There.  White Cliffs of Dover.
C00050 00040	Feeling, fear.
C00052 00041	I must do right by them.
C00054 00042	Paper bag blues
C00055 00043	Two ladies
C00057 00044	Set the table, dear,
C00058 00045	It's hot & crowded and steam rises from
C00060 00046	I have an enormous obsession with
C00061 00047	In-ter-na-tion-al  con-ver-sa-tion.
C00062 00048	Home again. well come home.
C00063 00049	I am content
C00064 00050	Lolling tongue
C00065 ENDMK
C⊗;
Sun    	---	Aquarius
Moon   	---	Libra
Mercury	---	Capricorn
Venus  	---	Aquarius
Mars   	---	Pisces
Jupiter	---	Capricorn
Saturn 	---	Virgo
Uranus 	---	Gemini
Neptune	---	Libra
Pluto 	---	Leo

Rising 	---     Leo
Desert poem.
Reoccurance of
  heat
   dreams.

I need and repress my fear and hurt.
I want to ask -- see, hear, feel, touch me,
be me, know me, suffer with me
 unaskable things
  as I want them unasked.
Come now, love me, do crazy things for me,
 not against me, without me, further apert from me.

confilct is that the inflicted hurt is not malicous intentional 
on their part but just
real

oh woe.

Now,
Passion over: tempermental outburst of fear.
You fill my mind:
what can I do
to bring us together, tight:
to upward, one toward one,
so that both rise.

I am getting stoned silly, playing pool into shoes.
Tell me what you did today,
I am hungry for doing,
 suspicious of moving,
 of going, flowing,
 silk of the breeze.

Temporary release, surcease, rejoinder
but eventual frustration in fornication.

Expediants expidite without change.  Permanance.
I do not trust;  I could trust/pretend.

Can I plead, come in now.
Should I plead, I need you?
This time for good; no more.
This time when you give up
 me on Monday,
 me on Tuesday,
 me on Wendnesday, 
 me on Thursday,

you give up

  me on Friday,
  me on Saturday,
  me on Sunday
     as well.

You fucking bitch!

Think you can use me like
the old worn bathmat
to keep your feet warm
when you need to take a shit.

Think you can come home on Sundays,
just for a kick,
to make yourself at home
like Christmas vacation.
Then leave me for your fucking
"adventure in life".

Think you can be miss Hotsy-Totsy
pracing round life, having a ball,
(just between you and me, scared shitless).

No, no, no,
 you can't come home like that.
Tonight she called and said
Ow woe, I need you I need you
let me come tickle your belly and love you

He was very cruel to me, you know
We had a fabulous time, you know
But I called him again, you know
  and he treated me badly
Let me come home its your birthday

I promise it won't happen again and I'll try
very hard.

She called up crying and said
I promise I wont
no more
no more
do you want me to come home?

It's so hard to find a place
without you

I told her:
write down, some time, when you're not upset
what you want out of life....
Keep that piece of paper and look at it the next day.
Maybe after a week of believing in the same thing,
maybe then you can tell me about it.

She says: good idea, are you going to write it down?
Yourself?

I want
  mutual respect
  one toward one so that both rise

permanence
 stability
 sharing, growing together.
Sometimes --
sometimes I can look at you
 and not be afraid

sometimes --
sometimes I can think of you
 and not hear the fear
yammering away in my ears

those times are very good

If you get yourself in trouble,
  get yourself out.

If you don't know how to be,
  learn.

If you don't know what to do,
 figure it out.

Don't lean on me,
 I'm not your man anymore.
Shame on me
 for surrogating you
using you
fantasizing over you

dream J dream

Shame on me
 for seeing visions
flirtations, quiet understandings

Shame on me for WANTING
wanting so much that I was
unreal
preferring dreams and fantasies
over the possible grotesqueness of
the real.
Sand dollar lady
 tripping down the path
my words ring out to you,

to who

Empty love, I am need.
I am want,
you filled me with joy
and left.

Leaving fear
 leaves all alone

lonliness fills my nights.
GREAT!
CREATE!
YOU CRATE!

get off your ass
sitting pretty and writing small

thinking to yourself full of self pity & longing:

Create!  If no one knows but yourself,
you are empty.
Write down my sorrow
fold the paper
maybe it'll go away

Ambivalence, anger, fear
negative words, feelings.
stamp them out.
(stamp, stamp)

I reject my fears and HIDE.
I am alive and free
if only I can see
how wonderful I am.

Sunken morose of dreams despondancy.
What do I need with such?

I have
  plants, fishes, papers, letters.
A new phase; no need to cling.
Bird songs
 I hear your bird songs --
you on a tree outside my window.

A year now, hearing your bird songs, waiting

 To be in love.
as ever remote, no love lost
today I feel no withdrawal pains

What kind of love is that,
 that
dies like that.

Who you are,
 can I conjure up your face?

	rolling down the hill
	biting cold
	I see nothing but
	the pit in my stomach.
yummy tummy
shimmy belly
rubbie slurping
hot wide mouth

------------------
tickle nipple
scritchle humple
fingers treble
thumps my back

------------------
greasy easy
silken motion
swishing bedsheets
long soft stroke

------------------
tumble jumble
dangle limb
rolling swinging
lolling toungue.

------------------
(1)  Pardon me miss, may I hump you?

(2)  Pardon me miss, may I slurp you?

(3)  pardon me miss, may I fuck you?

(4)  Pardon me miss, do you wanna dance?

(5)  Pardon me miss, pardon me.
What can I do with you
ancient love
Aztec stamp on my soul.

It reeks of mildew
it's that kind of age
that grows slime.

What am I that
relies on loneliness
to torment my soul
Raspy skinny bitch-- broken.
Dry humping in the cold, afraid
to speak.  
Bright grief in a jar
brief love, Susan.

I am sick, tired, lonely,
not wanting to be.

Write your lonely heart out
to me;  I want to suck 
your bittersweet.
Confusion --

whirlwinds of thought
slow liquid crystals in milk-white
swirls

Blue, light blue.

What to make of this
slurry; immersion in laughter,
high thoughts and tails, wagging in
the darkness of our mouths.

Love, you sing my song,
high whine of the wind
thru the trees.

Duodenic rhythms
beating slow time in
background while short
pulses of srieks intersperse
themselves, cutting edge, writing bright
Bright ecstatic moments, 
the falling of a leaf, perception
loud, like snow: soft.

Listen to me:  "Listen to me, saying
`Listen to me I said listen to me'".

Vector bright, ashynchronous,
wherewithal the toast of love.

Dark hat, pulled tightly,
canasters in plexiglas.

Do you get me?
Does this TURN YOU ON?
Huh?
Make your mouth water brutally,
 banging your chops on a
 juicy greasy steak?
Methodical me, my creativity.
Punch your pasties, petunia.
Turn to whimsey, giggling
bright, fantastic tenor of
thorny stasis, nose clean,
body bright.
waiting for little chickie,
wanting warm.

What does it buy, this:
holes in my underwear.

Same sad story; told you, tell you;
want you.  Kicked, kinks, bites; dreams
of sucking breasts, erotica.

Destroy my dreams, dreamboat;
all shattered ice, melting away.
comfort-

like wherewithal- its easier to sit
a light floating feeling, the morning
baloon rests lightly within.
It must be
the nylon shirt -- I feel cool.
Friendly captain of the skies.  Our leader.
I am safe.
Here and now, like the great here and after,
there and before.  When and where.
Craftmanship, what of it?  Art and
thus excusable?  Unnoticed craftmanship?
Secret of ages, like a book never read.

It is Art, I say.  Everything is art, in some
way.  Only-- there is good and bad.  Value
judgements.  Bah.  Name 5 non-arts:

1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

Would you rather ask questions or answer them?
Fragmented words. Sequence of nouns, no verbs.
Prepositions are excusable.  To describe a state,
a feeling, where I am now; the associations flow like
ink.
   I must work at this high feeling I have now --
no sleep, the dreams crowd into the day.

  I am looking
  forward
 to holding you.
Where are my almonds!! Goddam stewardess didn't bring me
my fucking almonds and I want them NOW and she isn't bringing
them.  What is this world coming to!!??

At least a coke or something.  

Boy, am I having fun.
I don't.
  no point. Just pretend.
When I let go and feel
that it's ok that I 
feel no care,  by myselfishness
frustrasted by trying to please.
  I've surrounded myself with
expectations to be with you.
I don't want them. I don't
need you; I don't need
your shit, I don't need
your pain; I don't need the
place I put myself with you.
Out.
Grief and sadness
I
Isolate myself

writing in a corner
sad, so sad.

When will it break
shattering glass

Sad old man, my father
weight of years.

Asshole.
Time for toads
birds in a cage
lovers; wincing memory
Is it like this, Susy
feeling sadness at your
dry old teat. Bony
hands, rumpled beds,
turning, smearing

Old lady, does she know
my NEED for love --
where is gentleness;
all that is left is pain.
Time to destroy illusions;
finis... time for a journey
back to aloneness.
Methylene terpredation
chunky sticks, sticking to mind,
wherewithal.  Here I sit,
 thinking here I sit. sat. shat.

And what does it mean? And who cares?
I can't think to do it, to be it

to have any ideas of: WHY
am I so alone.
Freedom.
  And alone.
  getting stoned.

Uncountable bodies / warm love.
Solitude. Sights. shake up.
freak out.
  sleep.
Re.
Repression repressed.
Trouser creases.
How can one who, healthy by comparison,
sickly in mind, full of that enjoyment
and beauty, dimly lit fortune,
subtle symbols.

 Why do I turn them away.
  When the train leaves
  drowning sorrows,
  having fun, taking care;
 
  I miss my garden
  sweet soft love
  sunning
  under the tree.

Come with me
 to my love nest.
ASS!
what have you done to
Professional Pride, professional
man, professional child.

Whopla, ho ho, ha ha.

Tenderness caressing stone
it softens not

Take my eyes // I am a fool.

Pinch my ass, it deserves it.
I have learned that
I am alone.

No conniseur of aloneness, I.

Old churces, museums;
watchful of Nazism.

Alcohol.
  sitting, wandering

It burns, my aloneness.
Beauty, fucks.  I always
dream of fucks.  Sperm like snot,
I leave behind, wandering.
Two o'clock. Train at 452.
How can I make it,
what can I do.

Prostitute, tits not bare
sitting
window
I am sad for you.
Peter: It makes
7 fucks, 1 kiss.

I can list them all.

Judy will ride with me, but will not speak.

Tired lady in Washington cafe
Brightens when I say hello;
sadens when I say goodby.

Genise invites me to use her
facilities.

Beautiful lady on train
Kahrlsruhe to Baden Baden
asks if I am lonely.

Wisconson, no beauty. But hope
in her eyes, when I
hope
to
pick
her
up.

And, she drops her pencil
when I say hello.

I'd invite you in,
 but I'm tired.
I
am a potato.
No matter what,
I remain a potato.

No fancy carrots, you;
  esoteric apples,

potato-ness becomes me.
Poverty.  Here is a robustness
of pouvrais -- that one cannot
escape from fear.  I am afraid of
those I meet: fucks and fights.

Foreign tempers. I paper myself.
But insulation, escalation. 
crap.
There.  White Cliffs of Dover.
They're white all right.

Feeling, fear.

I feel I should feel sad.

Staring back, knowing.

Having been.

No souvenirs, not enough.

No sad sad thoughts, not enough.

No joyous anticipation; only
slightly wary -- I made it,
I did it.

It's like prostitutes -- no joy, only fucks.

No joy in travels, only trains, hotels,
sights; the mechanism is there, but the
spirit... ah, the spirit.
I must do right by them.
Friends who
keep up, post up.

Touch me, keep me warm.
I'll keep you warm.

Deal?
Paper bag blues
waiting
quick glances of culture,
red hair waltzing
a Barb
waving in the wind
  of ceiling fans.
They're all freaks here
The mode
  flowering poverty
a, acultural, 
     observer.
Two ladies

I look away
remembering the
sensual
 removal of a sweater...

only to find another
 underneath.
Set the table, dear,
in your leather jacket.

The arch of
  your movement
a mathematical
 curve.
Catenary?  Parabolic?
Definitely.
It's hot & crowded and steam rises from
agonized eyebrows.  Glances.
I wish I knew those glances.
What pain they say to me.

This is a love letter, pumpkin --
you know, romantic train.

She has blond hair on her legs,
small breasts, firmly encased.
An old ring -- I like to think,
her grandmothers.

Bloated sleep in the corner.
Two nuns sit on the left,
a sleeping housewife on right.

Four old men play cards the
next seat back.

I travel only second class.
I have an enormous obsession with
tits.

 Incorrigible tit-starer.

Come here,
 let me stare at your tits,
 a bit.

Many tits I dream of sucking.
Give me a tit and I'll suck it.
Soft, hard, whatever you like.
I'll suck your tits for free.
In-ter-na-tion-al  con-ver-sa-tion.

I liked her --- Dane.
 No fear of touching
 no fear of dancing
 no fear of non-beauty

non beautiful as she was.

Crazy.  Tickle my feet.
Home again. well come home.

Stinking pits, itching beard,
laughs, joy, sharing;
word games on the
plane, I win.
Honeybun in white pants
soft drawl, I miss you.

hey listen... I've been in love before;
I know the tenderess of a night, a kiss, sweet cares.
I know the pain of sharing, rightful
claming hard assed to me.

You belong to ME.

fuck off, gypsy.
I am content

 wait

 listen

There is yet time for stillness.
Lolling tongue
  this is what it's all
abounding.
--

Dreams, dreams of Maja.

Dreams of strange rooms, parrots,
sweet old ladies & nostalgia like acid.

What can they do now with their flowers?
---

Psychiatrist: What do you want?
Me: What do I want?

There is a pretty red dress there.
I think I'll watch it.